Where can you see yourself next?

Judge Jimmy

Judge Jimmy

Bradley C – Sup Judge Jimmy, as I’m sure you’re aware, Melbourne Cup is coming up in a few Tuesdays’ time. In previous years, it’s been a traditionally loose affair. With my last place of employment being a rowdy environment. I’ve only just started working at my new firm and feel as though I might not be able to give the day the nudge it deserves. I’m still on probation and have already received two strikes against my name. One wasn’t my fault. The other was just bad luck. Between you and me, I just love to smash schooners (especially at lunch). Who can blame me. When Carlton Draught make such a delicious beveragino, I’d consider it rude if I didn’t throw down 4 or 5 at each opportunity. In my opinion, I do my best drafting between 3 and 5 beers. In saying that, the firm seem to disagree and have labelled both misdemeanours a “breach of firm policy”. Anyways, Melbourne Cup is just such a laugh and I’m buzzing to pick a few winners and not to mention, win fashions on the field… my white crocodile loafers will surely get the job done. OK, I appreciate I may have gotten a little side-tracked here, but Judge, I’d just like to get your thoughts on how I should approach the day without receiving a third and final warning. Thanks in advance.


Hi Bradley,

Thanks for your message.

It sounds as though you’ve done a good job announcing your arrival at the firm. I personally don’t see a better way to get people talking about you. Hopefully this now transitions across to the client side as we emerge from COVID. Oscar Wilde famously said “the only thing worse than being talked about, is not being talked about”. So if notoriety is what you’re seeking, then keep doing what you’re doing. Just don’t expect a strong reference when going for your next job.

I can’t fault you on your passion for a schooner. When I see those glorious copper tanks at my Local, holding what I can only describe as “golden happiness in a glass”, I get a feeling like no other. It’s not like becoming a father for the first time… it’s better. I would, however, suggest that you cut down from four or five schooners to maybe two pints. Perhaps start drinking only on Thursday and Friday, and when in the office always carry a packet of gum. Another useful tactic a partner mate of mine employs is to always have a large coffee mug on show for every Zoom call you attend. Whether you fill it with coffee, tea, beer or whiskey, no one will be any the wiser, especially, if as you say, you can put a few away without touching the sides.

You’re not wrong about me knowing Melbourne Cup is only a matter of weeks away. I’ve actually been out shopping for a new suit this week and started reading the form. My tips for the day would be to not pick a horse with the letter “I” in the name and stick to the European horses for the race that stops the nation.

As this year will be different from the previous years, it’s important that you don’t take out “Best On Ground” for another year running. This year, I recommend you let others embarrass themselves, while taking a more measured and controlled approach to the day. If you feel you have a future in this firm, it is best to survive the probationperiod. If your colleagues are sending it, just make sure you’re sending it a little less. Remain in control, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!

All the best,


James Cockerill

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